The World Around Me: Toilet Seat Covers

Do we need to be this specific? Are there such things as "Community Seats" for people who shit in groups?

The World Around Me: Forgiveness

L to R: Dog Killer Mike Vick, Suspected Cheater David Ortiz, Confirmed Cheater Alex Rodriguez. Who says America isn't a forgiving country? Or maybe Hallmark just doesn't follow sports.

The World Around Me: Anarchists

Because every act of anarchy begins by smelling like a douche.

Bonus Observation: Limited Edition? What do you want to bet Axe just releases Anarchy III when Anarchy II sells out?

The World Around Me: Job Hunting

Where do I sign up?

The World Around Me: Mountain Dew

Two wrongs don't make a right.

The World Around Me: Brand Names

Whoever Don is, he's left quite a legacy for his progeny.

Real Conversations

Boring Person: I have rhododendron.
Stupid Person: Oh no! How long do you have to live?
Boring Person: Too long.

*Real Conversations are not actual conversations, but actually the mad inner-monologues of this author.